The radio host tells a listener that she’s not going to like him.
Personal finance personality Dave Ramsey voiced some strong opinions about whether or not to buy a home in a specific situation.
In this case, it involved a parent trying to figure out the best way to help her son.
A woman named Deborah called in to ask Ramsey on his radio show about helping her son get into a single family home.
Ramsey asked her why her son needs her help.
“He doesn’t qualify for much of the mortgage,” Deborah said. “He’s currently renting a house with a roommate. My son recently got engaged again. His fiance would like to live together.”
“Unfortunately I’m over in New Jersey, and the rents here are just crazy,” she added. “And they’ll never get ahead if they’ve got to rent.”
Ramsey wasted no time getting to his point.
“Deborah, you’re not going to like me,” he said. “You don’t need to do this. Because you’re not helping him. You’re enabling him. He hasn’t got his crap together enough to go by a house.”
“You’re going to get him into a house and it’s going to be a curse not a blessing, because he hasn’t got his crap together to get into a house,” he continued. “Well, he’s broke. The reason they won’t give him a loan is because they know he isn’t going to pay the bill. And then you get him into the house and he doesn’t pay the bill. Why? Because he can’t pay the bill.”
“Well, I kind of look at it at as giving him part of his inheritance now,” Deborah said, explaining her reasoning.
“Giving him a house for free?” Ramsey replied. “You’re going to sign him up for something he can’t do. That’s not a blessing, Deborah.”
Deborah offered an alternative solution.
“How about if I were to buy the house and he rented it from me?” Deborah asked.
Then Ramsey got really blunt.
“How about your grown son becomes a man?” he replied with a question of his own.
The full video was posted to YouTube.
Then Ramsey explained more about what he meant.
“He needs to be on his own. He needs to stand up,” he said. “He’s gonna get married to this girl. They need to set up and have a life instead of Mommy taking care of him. Really, this is not good for him, Deborah. It’s not good for him.”
“I know you you’re the sweetest lady on the planet,” Ramsey added. “I’m being mean to you, but you’re just trying to be helpful to your little boy. But I gotta tell you, one of the things I had to do with my wife when we were raising a son was to let him be a man. Young people have to have dignity.”
Ramsey offered some words for parents in general.
“Moms and dads, love your children enough to let them do hard things called life,” he said. “Like I told you. Deborah. I told you at the front you weren’t going to like me.”
That’s when the radio host offered a prediction about the most likely outcome of their conversation.
“And you’re not gonna do it,” he said. “You’re gonna go in there and interfere and screw this up because you ain’t gonna listen to a thing I said. But the deal is that moms and dads, if you will let your kids find their way, coach them, cheer for them. If they’re in a really hard pinch be a safety net but don’t interfere.”
Ramsey had some final words, in general, about millenials and how he believes parents can best help their children.
We’re seeing data right now that 25% of millennials — their parents are paying for their housing in one way or another. Let me just tell you, moms and dads. Not good. Not good for your little millennial.
They are much better off to face some calluses, some stress, some hard times, make some hard choices. Stand up and square their shoulders and be a man, be a woman. Instead of a child.
It’s not good for them. They’re not good for themselves. They’re not good for their spouses. They’re not good for their employers. Because Mommy and Daddy swoop in and take care of everything. Bad plan, America. Bad plan.
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